Yep, here at our house, fairies are real.
They have to be, they back up all that parenting I do.
So the first fairy to "come into existence" at our house was the binki fairy.
Conjure up a little girl, at the ripe old age of 3 who still has a binki. (gross, I know) But I had a baby, I was pregnant, and I was not about to take away the one thing that helped calm her. And my DD had an ear piercing scream that could make your ears bleed. A binki was almost a necessity.
Let's focus on the good here, not the fact that I had a huge belly, a screaming baby on my hip, and my 3 year old was running around with a binki in her mouth. (And I bet I was probably standing in the kitchen barefoot too!)
In all honesty, she only had the binki in her bed. We had long since weaned her down to bedtime only. (Which was a process in itself.) But, the day had come when the binki fairy would pay us a visit.
Here is my *gold star* advice!
We sent a note to our daughter from the binki fairy. The fairy stated that our DD needed to leave all her binkis for the fairy so she could make them into her castle, and the fairy would leave a WONDERFUL FAIRY GIFT.
DD bought it. Out when the binkis in a bag on the porch. (Mama had prepared for this with a rather expensive trip to Target.) And when she wasn't looking, the binki bag was replaced with a huge fanciful bag full of fairy goodies. There was a crown, a tutu, stickers, a movie, some costume jewelry, a wand, and lord knows what else. I told you I went crazy, how can you not, it's Target?
Anyway, the bag was a huge hit. The fairy has decorated it with glitter and sparkles. It was special and girly. She got a certificate saying our DD was an honorary fairy. And the binkis were long forgotten......
until bedtime.
After brushing her teeth, our smart DD gathered up all the fairy stuff, put it back in the bag and gave it to me saying, "K mommy, I don't want to be a fairy anymore, I want my binkis back."
After 35 minutes of intense crying, she did go to sleep. We sat in the living room and turned the TV up a little louder than normal. It almost killed me. I almost gave in. But my DH made me stay in the living room.
After 2 bedtimes and 1 nap time, she was over it. She quit crying and asking for them. She was officially a big girl.
sigh
And after all that trouble I still let my baby have one. And when the 3rd came, he got one too. With #4, I still gave him one.
I didn't really learn a lesson, but at least I have a tried and true method to get rid of them.
Hopefully my boys will believe in fairies too.
Showing posts with label gold star. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gold star. Show all posts
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Crime and Punishment
We discipline at our house. Some days, a lot.
There are 4 children 5 and under here, so mischief seems to dump on our days. At times, they can't help it, they're children. Other times, sibling rivalry gets the better of them.
We use time out, or as we call it, "the NAUGHTY spot" and they really hate it. But they (shockingly) sit for the duration of their punishment. We put toys in "time-out", which can be very effective. We occasionally dole out a spanking. We use re-direction. Sometimes our daughter looses privileges. We praise good behavior (when we remember) and we try to set a good example.
But more importantly, we are consistent. Creative, but consistent.
Discipline is a LOT of work for us as parents. It barely seems worth it.
The other day my 5 y.o DD and 3 y.o. DS were tussling like puppies. (There is no other term for it.) I had tried re-directing, asking them to please choose a different game. But they seemed intent on wrestling around. At some point, my son "developed" a bloody nose when his face came in contact with the kitchen floor. It was a purely accidental accident. It wasn't purposeful or hurtful....but he was hurt.
I was annoyed, and a little frustrated, but I wasn't angry or mad. True, they know better, especially my 5 y.o. DD. So, for "punishment" I asked her to sit in the naughty spot until his nose stopped bleeding. She sat, and sat, and sat. It was a pretty bad bloody nose. And she was REALLY bored.
But, something happened.
The next time they were tussling and I asked them to find something else to do, I reminded her of what happened the last time. Her response, "I don't want to make him have any blood!" and she immediately found a new game, and her brother was quick to follow suit.
Miracle!!!!!!!
I consider it a major breakthrough in our discipline policies. Gold star for mom!
We also use "time out" for toys. If they are arguing or fighting over ANY toy, I put it in time-out and NO ONE gets to play with it. After the first few times, all I have to say when they start squabbling is, "Does that toy need a time out?" Instant sharing occurs.
Now our system works pretty well for our family. But it works because we are consistent. When I threaten, it isn't really a threat, I mean it. And my kids know that if I say blank, I mean it.
I do this because I love them. If I don't discipline them, the world will, and the world doesn't love them. I would be a pretty terrible parent sending my children out into the world with no concept of limitations or respect for rules.
But mostly I discipline because I enjoy peace and quiet.
There are 4 children 5 and under here, so mischief seems to dump on our days. At times, they can't help it, they're children. Other times, sibling rivalry gets the better of them.
We use time out, or as we call it, "the NAUGHTY spot" and they really hate it. But they (shockingly) sit for the duration of their punishment. We put toys in "time-out", which can be very effective. We occasionally dole out a spanking. We use re-direction. Sometimes our daughter looses privileges. We praise good behavior (when we remember) and we try to set a good example.
But more importantly, we are consistent. Creative, but consistent.
Discipline is a LOT of work for us as parents. It barely seems worth it.
The other day my 5 y.o DD and 3 y.o. DS were tussling like puppies. (There is no other term for it.) I had tried re-directing, asking them to please choose a different game. But they seemed intent on wrestling around. At some point, my son "developed" a bloody nose when his face came in contact with the kitchen floor. It was a purely accidental accident. It wasn't purposeful or hurtful....but he was hurt.
I was annoyed, and a little frustrated, but I wasn't angry or mad. True, they know better, especially my 5 y.o. DD. So, for "punishment" I asked her to sit in the naughty spot until his nose stopped bleeding. She sat, and sat, and sat. It was a pretty bad bloody nose. And she was REALLY bored.
But, something happened.
The next time they were tussling and I asked them to find something else to do, I reminded her of what happened the last time. Her response, "I don't want to make him have any blood!" and she immediately found a new game, and her brother was quick to follow suit.
Miracle!!!!!!!
I consider it a major breakthrough in our discipline policies. Gold star for mom!
We also use "time out" for toys. If they are arguing or fighting over ANY toy, I put it in time-out and NO ONE gets to play with it. After the first few times, all I have to say when they start squabbling is, "Does that toy need a time out?" Instant sharing occurs.
Now our system works pretty well for our family. But it works because we are consistent. When I threaten, it isn't really a threat, I mean it. And my kids know that if I say blank, I mean it.
I do this because I love them. If I don't discipline them, the world will, and the world doesn't love them. I would be a pretty terrible parent sending my children out into the world with no concept of limitations or respect for rules.
But mostly I discipline because I enjoy peace and quiet.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Leaps and Bounds
Well, there is nothing like seeing your child progressing to make you feel like you're on the right track.
It seems like all 4 of my kiddos are making huge strides lately.
And it makes me feel good, like I'm doing something right.
Let's start small. My 4 month old DS can now grab a toy (or binki or blanket or my shirt) and get it in his mouth. And he laughs about it! Nothing brings a mommy more joy than a baby who can entertain himself and really love it. And he doesn't have one of those cute baby laughs. He sounds like a broken velociraptor from Jurassic Park. It's a little hard to ignore him having a good time.
My 2 year old DS is putting away the dishes in the dishwasher. All the ones he can reach. He is so helpful. He really is. This child knows where everything goes! He will even move things around that someone else put away wrong. Amazing, since in 6 years I will have to threaten his to do anything I want him to.
My 5 year old DD has finally mastered her numbers. She has been struggling the last 6 months to recognize numbers after 10. I mean really struggling. Flashcards, worksheets, manipulative's, everything. And nothing helped. She was so aware that she didn't have them down. And it bothered her. Then, one day, it just clicked. She is so proud of herself, and I am so proud of her.
And I'm sooooo proud of them all.
But, there's always a but. I have a brings-tears-to-your-eyes proud moment of my son that I just have to share.
My 3 year old DS is a nonverbal, high-sensory, autistic child. There have been a few moments where it was discussed that he would never talk. That he would never grasp the concept of language. But he showed us he "got it" this week.
His place mat at the table has the alphabet on it. He pointed right at E and said "E." Clear as day. He looked at me, pointed at it, and said it again, "E." I showed him O, and he said that one too. He can also say the letter I. Not only is he saying it, he is recognizing letters.
And it wasn't a fluke. He did it again later for daddy. He is learning his letters! He is getting the speech concept and formulating it in his brain. He is making a connection too.
....sorry, wiped a tear just reliving the moment.
When your child makes huge strides, it's hard to not get emotional.
I am soooo proud of all my kids. I am proud they grow and learn each day. And I treasure all these moments because I know that they build upon more. And each accomplishment they make today, will help them be a better, smarter, more complete person tomorrow.
And I cherish each moment because I love them. It's what a mommy is supposed to do.
It seems like all 4 of my kiddos are making huge strides lately.
And it makes me feel good, like I'm doing something right.
Let's start small. My 4 month old DS can now grab a toy (or binki or blanket or my shirt) and get it in his mouth. And he laughs about it! Nothing brings a mommy more joy than a baby who can entertain himself and really love it. And he doesn't have one of those cute baby laughs. He sounds like a broken velociraptor from Jurassic Park. It's a little hard to ignore him having a good time.
My 2 year old DS is putting away the dishes in the dishwasher. All the ones he can reach. He is so helpful. He really is. This child knows where everything goes! He will even move things around that someone else put away wrong. Amazing, since in 6 years I will have to threaten his to do anything I want him to.
My 5 year old DD has finally mastered her numbers. She has been struggling the last 6 months to recognize numbers after 10. I mean really struggling. Flashcards, worksheets, manipulative's, everything. And nothing helped. She was so aware that she didn't have them down. And it bothered her. Then, one day, it just clicked. She is so proud of herself, and I am so proud of her.
And I'm sooooo proud of them all.
But, there's always a but. I have a brings-tears-to-your-eyes proud moment of my son that I just have to share.
My 3 year old DS is a nonverbal, high-sensory, autistic child. There have been a few moments where it was discussed that he would never talk. That he would never grasp the concept of language. But he showed us he "got it" this week.
His place mat at the table has the alphabet on it. He pointed right at E and said "E." Clear as day. He looked at me, pointed at it, and said it again, "E." I showed him O, and he said that one too. He can also say the letter I. Not only is he saying it, he is recognizing letters.
And it wasn't a fluke. He did it again later for daddy. He is learning his letters! He is getting the speech concept and formulating it in his brain. He is making a connection too.
....sorry, wiped a tear just reliving the moment.
When your child makes huge strides, it's hard to not get emotional.
I am soooo proud of all my kids. I am proud they grow and learn each day. And I treasure all these moments because I know that they build upon more. And each accomplishment they make today, will help them be a better, smarter, more complete person tomorrow.
And I cherish each moment because I love them. It's what a mommy is supposed to do.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
May I please have a clone?
Goodness....I need another me.
Or a full time housekeeper, gardener, nanny, personal assistant, and a chef. And that's just to keep up!!! Back, a bazillion years ago before I had children, I thought mothering was a breeze! A sweet bedtime story, and then off to a glass of wine and a television program I go. Pie. Before I had kids I was a spectacular parent.
Then I actually had them. Kids, that is. I do cut myself a little slack. I did have 4 children in 5 years. So it does make the work load a bit harder. But, the cooking and cleaning, the laundry, the home maintenance, the mommy maintenance still needs attention.
And I'm not really complaining, just clarifying. I have a special needs child. My second child has therapy and classes outside the home almost everyday of the week. It's not like I'm complaining, but sitting at home everyday eating bon-bons and watching Days of Our Lives. (I wish, really, I do!)
So I have one of those fancy mommy calendars. Each person gets a line, and I map out appointments, preschool, therapy, dates (gasp!) doctor/dentist visits....and all the sitters that I need to make all that stuff happen. Then I have a spiffy little notebook where I write down bills, budgets, shopping lists, and reminders. And post-it notes.....we can't forget those ;)
And I still feel like I can't get my feet under me some days. I'm still always rushing, running late, or just plain old frazzled.
And I NEVER want to be frazzled. It's bad for my mommy image.
Maybe I just had an "off" day. Seriously, my daughter made it to preschool on time. And while she finger painted and learned all important preschool things, I got errands done, squeezed in a quick trip to the park, and put gas in my guzzling SUV. And I even got back early enough to check my email in the car, sing a rousing rendition of the "wheels on the bus" to the boys, and nurse the baby super fast! I think I may have just done some bragging?
I think I need a vacation. Or a clone.
No one can do my job. And I don't mean that in a bad way. But I really would like a day off. But since I can't call in sick or take vacation, (Totally not a mom perk!) I guess I need to make a spa appointment and hire a sitter.
Best advice ever, take care of yourself so you can take care of the kiddos and DH. If you feel and look like crap, it will directly affect your attitude and actions, which in turn, directly effect your family (even the stupid cats!).
WARNING: Gold STAR advice was just mentioned!
Take care of yourself. For me this means:
I try really hard to eat every meal with the children. (Partially because then I am guaranteed meals, but if I make something for myself the little monsters eat it!) I also try to get in a walk or some stretching each day. (sigh I really miss the gym though!) I buy myself some yummy lotion, which I rub onto my chapped, frequently washed hands. I wash my face EVERY night before bed. (Nothing like going to bed and waking up with a clean slate.)
So busy is pretty much my only level right now. In fact, I'm sure it has been my ONLY level. I think "it" completes me. I go a little crazy (crazier?) when I have nothing to do. But making a few moments for myself keeps me functioning at mommy-capacity. It keeps my sanity for 3 doctors appointments, 5 therapy appointments, 2 days of preschool each for kid of the kiddos, and an outing this weekend. (And that's only this week!)
Ahh, I feel so much better. Nothing like a little venting to help you re-evaluate your priorities and your goals. :)
Now off to fold some laundry, do diapers, get out gear for tomorrow, clean the kitchen, and get ready for bed. (See I do need to be busy!)
Or a full time housekeeper, gardener, nanny, personal assistant, and a chef. And that's just to keep up!!! Back, a bazillion years ago before I had children, I thought mothering was a breeze! A sweet bedtime story, and then off to a glass of wine and a television program I go. Pie. Before I had kids I was a spectacular parent.
Then I actually had them. Kids, that is. I do cut myself a little slack. I did have 4 children in 5 years. So it does make the work load a bit harder. But, the cooking and cleaning, the laundry, the home maintenance, the mommy maintenance still needs attention.
And I'm not really complaining, just clarifying. I have a special needs child. My second child has therapy and classes outside the home almost everyday of the week. It's not like I'm complaining, but sitting at home everyday eating bon-bons and watching Days of Our Lives. (I wish, really, I do!)
So I have one of those fancy mommy calendars. Each person gets a line, and I map out appointments, preschool, therapy, dates (gasp!) doctor/dentist visits....and all the sitters that I need to make all that stuff happen. Then I have a spiffy little notebook where I write down bills, budgets, shopping lists, and reminders. And post-it notes.....we can't forget those ;)
And I still feel like I can't get my feet under me some days. I'm still always rushing, running late, or just plain old frazzled.
And I NEVER want to be frazzled. It's bad for my mommy image.
Maybe I just had an "off" day. Seriously, my daughter made it to preschool on time. And while she finger painted and learned all important preschool things, I got errands done, squeezed in a quick trip to the park, and put gas in my guzzling SUV. And I even got back early enough to check my email in the car, sing a rousing rendition of the "wheels on the bus" to the boys, and nurse the baby super fast! I think I may have just done some bragging?
I think I need a vacation. Or a clone.
No one can do my job. And I don't mean that in a bad way. But I really would like a day off. But since I can't call in sick or take vacation, (Totally not a mom perk!) I guess I need to make a spa appointment and hire a sitter.
Best advice ever, take care of yourself so you can take care of the kiddos and DH. If you feel and look like crap, it will directly affect your attitude and actions, which in turn, directly effect your family (even the stupid cats!).
WARNING: Gold STAR advice was just mentioned!
Take care of yourself. For me this means:
I try really hard to eat every meal with the children. (Partially because then I am guaranteed meals, but if I make something for myself the little monsters eat it!) I also try to get in a walk or some stretching each day. (sigh I really miss the gym though!) I buy myself some yummy lotion, which I rub onto my chapped, frequently washed hands. I wash my face EVERY night before bed. (Nothing like going to bed and waking up with a clean slate.)
So busy is pretty much my only level right now. In fact, I'm sure it has been my ONLY level. I think "it" completes me. I go a little crazy (crazier?) when I have nothing to do. But making a few moments for myself keeps me functioning at mommy-capacity. It keeps my sanity for 3 doctors appointments, 5 therapy appointments, 2 days of preschool each for kid of the kiddos, and an outing this weekend. (And that's only this week!)
Ahh, I feel so much better. Nothing like a little venting to help you re-evaluate your priorities and your goals. :)
Now off to fold some laundry, do diapers, get out gear for tomorrow, clean the kitchen, and get ready for bed. (See I do need to be busy!)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I didn't mean to do such a good job
So we took our 5 year old to her elementary school tonight to enroll her for kindergarten in the fall. I was prepared for shyness, crying, some whining, and impatience. I had a whole speech prepared about how wonderful school would be and how much she was going to learn.
Trash that, she did better than I did.
She walked right up to her teacher and introduced herself. She politely asked if she could color and cut. She very nicely waited her turn to play on the computer and then was all kinds of smart on the thing.
She is ready. More than ready.
I'm not a "clingy" mom. I don't wait around after preschool drop-off for my kids to cry and need me. I don't encourage them to be whiny or clingy or attached. I am matter-of-fact when we get there. I kiss them good-bye and tell them, "I love you, I will be back soon!" And walk out the door.
I really wanted some of that clingy-ness tonight. Instead she pretty much told me to get lost!
I know this is good. I know this means I have done a good job raising her and encouraging her to be independent and self aware. I was really proud when she immediately began interacting with the kindergarten teacher. But, this was one of the few times I wish she needed me a little more!!!!
sigh
I think I deserve a gold star for making sure she has the beginning skills to becoming a reasonable, responsible member of society. I think I earn another star for not crying! And she earns a star for being the stellar little girl I have helped her become.
We will have to re-visit this topic when kindergarten actually starts, but my gut tells me it's going to go very well.
Trash that, she did better than I did.
She walked right up to her teacher and introduced herself. She politely asked if she could color and cut. She very nicely waited her turn to play on the computer and then was all kinds of smart on the thing.
She is ready. More than ready.
I'm not a "clingy" mom. I don't wait around after preschool drop-off for my kids to cry and need me. I don't encourage them to be whiny or clingy or attached. I am matter-of-fact when we get there. I kiss them good-bye and tell them, "I love you, I will be back soon!" And walk out the door.
I really wanted some of that clingy-ness tonight. Instead she pretty much told me to get lost!
I know this is good. I know this means I have done a good job raising her and encouraging her to be independent and self aware. I was really proud when she immediately began interacting with the kindergarten teacher. But, this was one of the few times I wish she needed me a little more!!!!
sigh
I think I deserve a gold star for making sure she has the beginning skills to becoming a reasonable, responsible member of society. I think I earn another star for not crying! And she earns a star for being the stellar little girl I have helped her become.
We will have to re-visit this topic when kindergarten actually starts, but my gut tells me it's going to go very well.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The inspiration is lacking....
After today, I'm not sure I have any thing left to write a witty or smart post. Today tested my mothering abilities to the MAX!!!! I hate it when most of the day goes right down the tubes.
So with 4 children, 5 and under, my two middle boys (almost 2 & 3) had yucky tummies, and we cloth diaper. I will NOT elaborate on that any further, I will have nightmares about this day just from that stand point. The baby (a whole 6 weeks old ) was pretty fussy and wanted to nurse every hour. My 5 year old was feeling left out and her asthma was flaring up in a major way. Plus it snowed (it's the end of freakin' February!!!!!!) and I needed to run to Target.
I probably don't need to add much after that description. I can imagine most parents already throwing in the towel. I just about did.
After a quick trip to the doctor with the 2 "yucky-tummy" boys, a Target run, a few nebulizer treatments, some major baby wearing in my trusty Moby, and an amazing MIL......I did manage to pull through, and all the children remain unscathed.
But some major parenting came into play. My children all have completely different needs. Today was a MAJOR play on that. They are all so different anyway, but adding a bad day to that......good heavens. I quickly came to realize that it wasn't about getting or giving them all the same treatment, but making sure they all got what they needed.
Let me go ahead and repeat that......it wasn't about making sure they had the same (insert an option: privileges, discipline, attention....) but making sure they got what they needed. I think that may be one of the most inspirational things I could ever write about.
As a parent my job is not making sure they all get the same thing, but they all get what they need.
(huge wave of relief washes over me)
Now, trying to get my children to understand that......totally different story. And when I figure that out, I will get back to you.
I can't imagine trying to make sure they all got the same thing today. Their needs are all so different. Sure my 5 y.o. moaned and groaned when she had to wait because her sick brothers needed something, or I was yet again nursing the baby. But she didn't have the same needs as her brothers. (hard lesson, I know)
But, at the end of the day, when they are all asleep and I can process and reflect on the day...I think I may have earned a gold star. Not because I made it through, not because the house is still intact, but because I made a HUGE parenting breakthrough. And, trust me, I don't have them very often.
So with 4 children, 5 and under, my two middle boys (almost 2 & 3) had yucky tummies, and we cloth diaper. I will NOT elaborate on that any further, I will have nightmares about this day just from that stand point. The baby (a whole 6 weeks old ) was pretty fussy and wanted to nurse every hour. My 5 year old was feeling left out and her asthma was flaring up in a major way. Plus it snowed (it's the end of freakin' February!!!!!!) and I needed to run to Target.
I probably don't need to add much after that description. I can imagine most parents already throwing in the towel. I just about did.
After a quick trip to the doctor with the 2 "yucky-tummy" boys, a Target run, a few nebulizer treatments, some major baby wearing in my trusty Moby, and an amazing MIL......I did manage to pull through, and all the children remain unscathed.
But some major parenting came into play. My children all have completely different needs. Today was a MAJOR play on that. They are all so different anyway, but adding a bad day to that......good heavens. I quickly came to realize that it wasn't about getting or giving them all the same treatment, but making sure they all got what they needed.
Let me go ahead and repeat that......it wasn't about making sure they had the same (insert an option: privileges, discipline, attention....) but making sure they got what they needed. I think that may be one of the most inspirational things I could ever write about.
As a parent my job is not making sure they all get the same thing, but they all get what they need.
(huge wave of relief washes over me)
Now, trying to get my children to understand that......totally different story. And when I figure that out, I will get back to you.
I can't imagine trying to make sure they all got the same thing today. Their needs are all so different. Sure my 5 y.o. moaned and groaned when she had to wait because her sick brothers needed something, or I was yet again nursing the baby. But she didn't have the same needs as her brothers. (hard lesson, I know)
But, at the end of the day, when they are all asleep and I can process and reflect on the day...I think I may have earned a gold star. Not because I made it through, not because the house is still intact, but because I made a HUGE parenting breakthrough. And, trust me, I don't have them very often.
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