We discipline at our house. Some days, a lot.
There are 4 children 5 and under here, so mischief seems to dump on our days. At times, they can't help it, they're children. Other times, sibling rivalry gets the better of them.
We use time out, or as we call it, "the NAUGHTY spot" and they really hate it. But they (shockingly) sit for the duration of their punishment. We put toys in "time-out", which can be very effective. We occasionally dole out a spanking. We use re-direction. Sometimes our daughter looses privileges. We praise good behavior (when we remember) and we try to set a good example.
But more importantly, we are consistent. Creative, but consistent.
Discipline is a LOT of work for us as parents. It barely seems worth it.
The other day my 5 y.o DD and 3 y.o. DS were tussling like puppies. (There is no other term for it.) I had tried re-directing, asking them to please choose a different game. But they seemed intent on wrestling around. At some point, my son "developed" a bloody nose when his face came in contact with the kitchen floor. It was a purely accidental accident. It wasn't purposeful or hurtful....but he was hurt.
I was annoyed, and a little frustrated, but I wasn't angry or mad. True, they know better, especially my 5 y.o. DD. So, for "punishment" I asked her to sit in the naughty spot until his nose stopped bleeding. She sat, and sat, and sat. It was a pretty bad bloody nose. And she was REALLY bored.
But, something happened.
The next time they were tussling and I asked them to find something else to do, I reminded her of what happened the last time. Her response, "I don't want to make him have any blood!" and she immediately found a new game, and her brother was quick to follow suit.
Miracle!!!!!!!
I consider it a major breakthrough in our discipline policies. Gold star for mom!
We also use "time out" for toys. If they are arguing or fighting over ANY toy, I put it in time-out and NO ONE gets to play with it. After the first few times, all I have to say when they start squabbling is, "Does that toy need a time out?" Instant sharing occurs.
Now our system works pretty well for our family. But it works because we are consistent. When I threaten, it isn't really a threat, I mean it. And my kids know that if I say blank, I mean it.
I do this because I love them. If I don't discipline them, the world will, and the world doesn't love them. I would be a pretty terrible parent sending my children out into the world with no concept of limitations or respect for rules.
But mostly I discipline because I enjoy peace and quiet.
I like this, I like the toy time-out concept, I will be using that!!! My husband says I'm the mean one (he is the carpet parent, I am the "mean one") and I say "Well, I am just the one who has to spend the most time in a chaotic house if there is no order....so yeah, I suppose I am the mean one" and giving them boundaries and respect for rules is a good life skill as well =) Great post.
ReplyDeleteI used toy time out with Randy. Especially when a toy was used inappropriately and someone would end up hurt. My mom took toys away when we fought over it. Bill and I were wondering if the garage was going to end up with all the toys when your kids were here while you were having Wesley. The rocking chair and some other toys ended up out in the garage. The consistent part is the hardest part of discipline. As parents we tend to get sidetracked with all the things we have to get done. But teaching our children to be gentle, kind and generous with each other is a lasting gift you will give them. Housework just needs doing everytime you turn around. Your such good parents.
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