Today (and for the next few days) my DD is 5, my DS is 3, my DS is 1, and my sweet baby boy is 8 weeks.....
And it won't stay that way. It keeps changing, they keep growing! Every time I turn around one of them masters a new skill, learns a new word, or finds something new to explore. I can't keep up! Although, as of this moment, all 4 of their baby books are current and up to date :-)
I am so sad some days. My 3 oldest kiddos have grown up so fast. They aren't small and helpless anymore. They have their own thoughts and feelings. They don't need me, like when I first "met" them.
I think I need to be needed. (That sounds like I may be in need of a good therapist!)
I don't really want them to stay infants forever. I love watching them grow and change. But I miss the smallness of those first few months. My tiny boy right now has already grown sooooo much. Each coo and smile I coax out of him is a delight....and a reminder that he will also grow up.
Maybe I need a small teddy bear. Something the same size as a newborn (right around 7 pounds!) that I can hold each time I feel like they aren't small anymore. Maybe I can talk my DH into a small dog that will always need my constant attention. Maybe it means I will need another baby one day :)
But, I think it boils down to realizing that my babies are growing up. That I should focus on the moment and the future instead of missing the past. And if you aren't looking forward, you will miss many important moments.
Time can't stand still. It continues to move forward at a constant rate. I will just have to take lots of pictures and focus on the moment......so I can have the memories that will last!
I have one little "mommy tip" that should earn you a gold star. I started this with my DD, and have done it with all my DS's. Each child has a small stuffed animal. I have taken their picture next to that animal at various points in their development. At 4 days, at 6 weeks, at 3 months...etc. It is amazing to see how much they grow!!!! And something about having a comparison makes it so much more incredible.
If I ever have enough time, or energy, I will post of few of them...it blows my mind to see how small they once were. But, in some ways, its nice to see just how far we have come.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Learning to block out the "noise"
I have a bit of a "writers block." I just couldn't find a topic that was entertaining enough. The entire time I was making dinner, I kept thinking of things to write about. Babywearing? The massive amounts of laundry a family of 6 produces? My addiction to Starbucks? Why we choose to cloth diaper 3 boys?
Nope, I want to tell you about the obssessive additiction my 3rd child has with my kitchen gadgets.
Maybe obession is a mild word for it. My (almost) 2 y.o. DS loves anything he can get his hands on in the kitchen. The blender, the salad spinner, a wooden spoon. You name it, he plays with it. The scary part about it is, he know EXACTLY what to do with each item.
He gets out all sorts of things and spreads them all over the kitchen. He "cooks and bakes" to his hearts desire. And, the best part about his little "problem" is he isn't crying while I make dinner. True, it's only one out of four to not fuss, but I'll take my breaks where I get them. And then I choose to ignore the Texas-sized mess all over my adequate (but rather small) kitchen.
That's a HUGE part of our parenting. Pick your battles. Don't sweat the small stuff. Let the little stuff go. And, for the most part, it works in our favor. At least when we remember to. Parenting is so vauge and fuzzy, it's hard to tell if it's your angelic children or your awesome parenting that produces orderly households. At least in our house, angelic is NOT a word I use in the same sentence with the word children.
So maybe it's our parenting. Life will go on if he pulls out every single pot. (And he does.) My night will still be tolerable if he hides my tongs (unless I really need them!) I can still function as a human being if he takes apart my food processor. (But he does know how to reassemble it.)
I would rather let my 2 y.o. tear apart my kitchen, than plopping him in front of the television. At least while he is "helping" me cook, we are having an opportunity for conversation, and if nothing else, he is learning to work the food processor (without the blades). My dream is that he will become a famous chef one day, or at least learn how to make dinner without a box or a mix.
It is way easier to prepare dinner without him underfoot. But I also frequently cook with the baby strapped to my chest. Trying to get my 2 y.o. to be busy somewhere else or trying to get the baby to relax in the swing, isn't really worth it. I have just learned to watch where I step in the kitchen and to get out 2 mixing spoons. And to cook sidways. For me, learning that compromise has produced happier, less fussy children. Which makes mommy happy, which makes the whole house a nicer place to live in!
So instead of listening to them yell and scream to be near me (which little children seem to ALWAYS want!) I let them. I ignore the mess so I don't have to ignore the crying. And trust me, with 4 little ones, it is much easier to ignore the mess than the noise.
Nope, I want to tell you about the obssessive additiction my 3rd child has with my kitchen gadgets.
Maybe obession is a mild word for it. My (almost) 2 y.o. DS loves anything he can get his hands on in the kitchen. The blender, the salad spinner, a wooden spoon. You name it, he plays with it. The scary part about it is, he know EXACTLY what to do with each item.
He gets out all sorts of things and spreads them all over the kitchen. He "cooks and bakes" to his hearts desire. And, the best part about his little "problem" is he isn't crying while I make dinner. True, it's only one out of four to not fuss, but I'll take my breaks where I get them. And then I choose to ignore the Texas-sized mess all over my adequate (but rather small) kitchen.
That's a HUGE part of our parenting. Pick your battles. Don't sweat the small stuff. Let the little stuff go. And, for the most part, it works in our favor. At least when we remember to. Parenting is so vauge and fuzzy, it's hard to tell if it's your angelic children or your awesome parenting that produces orderly households. At least in our house, angelic is NOT a word I use in the same sentence with the word children.
So maybe it's our parenting. Life will go on if he pulls out every single pot. (And he does.) My night will still be tolerable if he hides my tongs (unless I really need them!) I can still function as a human being if he takes apart my food processor. (But he does know how to reassemble it.)
I would rather let my 2 y.o. tear apart my kitchen, than plopping him in front of the television. At least while he is "helping" me cook, we are having an opportunity for conversation, and if nothing else, he is learning to work the food processor (without the blades). My dream is that he will become a famous chef one day, or at least learn how to make dinner without a box or a mix.
It is way easier to prepare dinner without him underfoot. But I also frequently cook with the baby strapped to my chest. Trying to get my 2 y.o. to be busy somewhere else or trying to get the baby to relax in the swing, isn't really worth it. I have just learned to watch where I step in the kitchen and to get out 2 mixing spoons. And to cook sidways. For me, learning that compromise has produced happier, less fussy children. Which makes mommy happy, which makes the whole house a nicer place to live in!
So instead of listening to them yell and scream to be near me (which little children seem to ALWAYS want!) I let them. I ignore the mess so I don't have to ignore the crying. And trust me, with 4 little ones, it is much easier to ignore the mess than the noise.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
They say I'm normal
I saw my doctor today for my post-baby check. (And, I went without ANY of my 4 children!!!!) My poor doctor almost had a heart attack. He hasn't seen me without a child since, well, I was pregnant with my first baby.
Essentially, he tells me that I'm back to "normal." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!?! I mean, come on! I have 4 children, my oldest is barely 5! How can that be even remotely considered normal?
I don't think we even know a family that has 4 children. Let alone 4 children 5 and under. Normal isn't a standard that applies to our family. Crazy, maybe. Wild, yes. Busy, totally. But normal? Not even close.
Did we, as a couple, want a large family? Technically, yes. Did we want so many children so close together? Not really. But we play with the cards we're dealt. And honestly, crazy busy and wild aside, I enjoy so much of it, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I do miss having time to read a book. I miss having time (or money) to spend the day at the spa. I miss having a date with my DH whenever I want. But the love I have for my children......it's all worth it. I'll take crazy over normal any day of the week.
Really.
I can't describe the "worth it." There isn't a direct trade-off system. It's not like saying I would rather have a baby than a pedicure. It's not like saying children are worth giving up almost every spare second of your day. Having to cut out time for yourself is not something I thought I would ever do. My children do suck up most of my time, but I would much rather give my time sculpting future members of society than spend time on myself.
Knowing that I am "producing" future voters, tax payers, and citizens, helps me "do" my job as a parent. The time I could be spending in the spa is now spent helping my children develop morals and values.
I try to take my job as a parent seriously. Knowing that my children will have to grow up and be responsible members of society is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. I'm not setting my goals at high school graduation either. I want my children to be responsible, productive members of society. I want them to have compassion and good values. I want them to take responsibility for their actions. I want them to find happiness.
Note: I want them to find happiness within themselves.
I'm pretty sure these aren't "normal" parenting goals. My goal as a parent isn't to make my children happy, but to help them find happiness within themselves. Maybe this means my children will all need extensive therapy as adults. Maybe it means they will be leaches on the system. But (hopefully) it means that I am helping produce a generation that is aware of the world around them.
I am not looking for "normal." I want more than that for my children. "Normal" is adequate. I have higher standards.
Normal? Not for us. I'll take anything else. I want better than that for my children.
Essentially, he tells me that I'm back to "normal." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!?! I mean, come on! I have 4 children, my oldest is barely 5! How can that be even remotely considered normal?
I don't think we even know a family that has 4 children. Let alone 4 children 5 and under. Normal isn't a standard that applies to our family. Crazy, maybe. Wild, yes. Busy, totally. But normal? Not even close.
Did we, as a couple, want a large family? Technically, yes. Did we want so many children so close together? Not really. But we play with the cards we're dealt. And honestly, crazy busy and wild aside, I enjoy so much of it, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I do miss having time to read a book. I miss having time (or money) to spend the day at the spa. I miss having a date with my DH whenever I want. But the love I have for my children......it's all worth it. I'll take crazy over normal any day of the week.
Really.
I can't describe the "worth it." There isn't a direct trade-off system. It's not like saying I would rather have a baby than a pedicure. It's not like saying children are worth giving up almost every spare second of your day. Having to cut out time for yourself is not something I thought I would ever do. My children do suck up most of my time, but I would much rather give my time sculpting future members of society than spend time on myself.
Knowing that I am "producing" future voters, tax payers, and citizens, helps me "do" my job as a parent. The time I could be spending in the spa is now spent helping my children develop morals and values.
I try to take my job as a parent seriously. Knowing that my children will have to grow up and be responsible members of society is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. I'm not setting my goals at high school graduation either. I want my children to be responsible, productive members of society. I want them to have compassion and good values. I want them to take responsibility for their actions. I want them to find happiness.
Note: I want them to find happiness within themselves.
I'm pretty sure these aren't "normal" parenting goals. My goal as a parent isn't to make my children happy, but to help them find happiness within themselves. Maybe this means my children will all need extensive therapy as adults. Maybe it means they will be leaches on the system. But (hopefully) it means that I am helping produce a generation that is aware of the world around them.
I am not looking for "normal." I want more than that for my children. "Normal" is adequate. I have higher standards.
Normal? Not for us. I'll take anything else. I want better than that for my children.
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