My kids are a Priority

My kids are a priority. But they are not my only one! I can not stand mothers who put their children before EVERYTHING else in their life all the time. (I would like to note that the previous sentence must include "everything" and "all" for this post to make sense!)

I put my children first frequently. More often then not, my entire day revolves around them. (shhh, don't tell them!) But there are other factors that come into play when deciding what comes first.

It's like the age old question, "What comes first? The chicken or the egg?"

Well, in all honesty, my chicken (do I mean rooster?) came first, then we had 4 eggs.

Meaning, that I put my husband (and our marriage) first. Not all the time, not even frequently, but sometimes. Truthfully, it's because in 18 years when my little darlings are all grown up and out of the house (at least in a perfect world) I want to enjoy, like, and love the man I married.

Any relationship can not be on hold for 18+ years. We have to work on our marriage all the time. We work on our relationships with our children more, but we are aware that our marriage is relevant as well.

Truth be told, if we always put the children first, there wouldn't be any time, energy, or money to work on our marriage. And then there would be no point to putting the children first. For our family, it means a two parent home.  And if our marriage were to fail then there wouldn't be two parents!

Some nights "working" on our marriage means (gasp) a night out. It means coordinating a sitter (and paying for said sitter, therapy and meds aren't included). It means prepping dinner, pjs, and children for the sitter. It means doing my hair, wearing make up, and dressing up in nice clothes. It means having dinner reservations and movie tickets. It means not staying up too late, because we ALL know that children don't sleep in when you need them too!

Geeze, I'm exhausted just planning a night out, no wonder why it doesn't happen very often!

Most of the time we have "date night" at home. (Lame, I know) But we make a special trip to the store, where we all go. Yes, all 6 of us trek to the store at the same time, usually on a Saturday morning. We pick out yummy things for our dinner (steak, portabellas, asparagus, garlic, wine, and maybe ice cream) are purchased for us. Things are picked out for the children as well  (hot dogs, candy for bribing, french fries, ice cream for bribing).

We feed the children early and put them to bed. We turn off the baby monitor and make our meal. Together. This means laughing and talking and enjoying a glass or two of wine.

We sit down (sometimes we even light candles) and eat as grown ups. And the monitor is still off. We take our time, we talk, we drink more wine, and we catch up on each other.

Frequently, we discuss various aspects of our children's lives. But we are getting better at talking about grown up things. We reconnect. We re-establish our foundation. Together.

And what this accomplishes is a good solid marriage so we can be a united front. It means we will be on the same page about curfews and dating. It means we are on the same page about punishment and discipline. It means our children can't and won't manipulate the car keys out of one of us!

It also means on that magical day when all four of my little babies pack their junk and move out (sniff, sniff....) I will have a partner, not a stranger, to start the next chapter of my life with.

Go ahead, tell me I'm a horrid mother for putting my husband first. But he'll be right by my side when I tell you to jump off a cliff....