Wanted: 1 perfect person

When it comes to my children my list of requirements is pretty long. I recently went back to work part time. I needed a part time nanny for a few hours, a few days a week. I quickly discovered how hard I am to please. (Although my DH has been saying this for years!)

I have plenty of help from various family members. I have a few great sitters. But I really wanted 1 person to come in and help me out, on a regular schedule. I figured it would be better for the kids if it was the same person all the time. (Rather than grandma, or a sitter one day, then some one else another....)

I figured I would pay a very reasonable amount for someone to watch 2-3 of my children at one time, for no more than 4 hours. I would prep lunch, get everything out, leave detailed instructions, and require no type of housework of any kind. I would never be far away, I would never leave them with sick kids, and I had the ability to be pretty flexible on time and days.

Good lord, I must have asked the impossible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here was my request:

*Wanted: One responsible adult to care for my children. This is a part time job, around 20 hours each week. Days and times are partially flexible.

Not one single applicant fit the bill. (Well, not true. There was one girl, she was 20 and would have worked perfectly but she wanted $28 an hour. Which seemed a bit crazy.)

They were smokers. They wanted to bring their 2 children. They had a dog they wanted to bring with. They didn't have a good grasp on reality.....

You name it, I saw it.

Maybe I'm too picky.

But I figure, in the long run, you can never be too picky when it comes to your children, especially when you have the opportunity to control it. There will be plenty of time in the future where I don't get a say in who they spend their time with. I guess high standards are inconvenient, but they do have a pay off. Hopefully by NOT subjecting my children to a sitter who would rather text/talk/surf on her phone, they gain better social skills with a sitter who will play with them.

I don't expect to see eye-to-eye with every potential candidate. I'm pretty strict, I'm very organized, and a little uptight. It's nice for my children to spend time with responsible people who don't have those characteristics. (Well, my DH is lenient, laid back, and spontaneous....so they do get a break from me when he is home.) But I do expect the people who are helping me "raise" my children have similar core values and motivations. I do expect them to be respectful. And I mean respectful to myself, my children, and my parenting decisions. And I guess that's hard for many potential nannies to understand.

I don't require that my sitters or nannies agree or practice our parenting, but I do expect them to respect the choices we make. Advice is fine, tips and tricks are welcome. But do NOT deliberately ignore my requirements.

With one potential candidate we discussed babies. I practice baby-wearing, I nurse, I use cloth diapers....I'm a little granola. I rarely let my babies cry "just because." I feel that "crying it out" doesn't really apply to children under a year. They just don't understand. I pick them up and hold them, I rock them, we try something new. It's pretty time consuming, but babies are time consuming. (It's their job!) This girl looked me straight in the eye and said, "All babies need time to cry, we'll just have to work on that. You can't expect me to hold him all day."

Hmmm.....nope. Thanks so much for your time.

Another candidate smoked. But she would go outside to do it. Well. Thanks for stepping out and leaving my children alone for 5 minutes. And then come in reeking of cigarettes, which I'm sure the children will be exposed to. Not really something I want to deal with. Plus, I have to continuously explain to them that smoking is "yucky" and to never do it. The more children are around and exposed to a particular behavior, the more susceptible they are to pick up that behavior. No thanks.

Bleh....

Until I expect less from people, and lower my standards, what we have will work. I guess I will continue to "make-do" with my support network. They don't seem to mind and my children don't seem to mind. So a nanny isn't really for our family at this time, but that's okay. I still get the things I need to done and my children aren't suffering, what more could a busy mommy ask for?