The little things

Who would have thought that smallest word could re-inspire me to be a better mommy. Just one simple word brought me to tears and made me realize that what I'm doing, is really working.

My (almost) 3 year old, non-verbal, autistic, high-sensory needs son just said, "momma."

While getting him ready for yet another therapy session, we were practicing his "word sounds" together. We do this every day, every time I change him. He has never been good at this game, but he tries hard.

Making the "mmm" sound is ridiculously challenging for him. Somewhere in his complex little brain, he just can't make it work. I make the "mmm" sound, and ask him to repeat it. This morning, instead of trying to repeat it, he looked right at me and said, "momma."

He has said "out-of-the-blue" things before, so I didn't even blink. But I asked him, "Where's momma?" He pointed right at me and said it again, "momma!" It's bringing me to tears just writing this.

As a mother, no one ever tells you how hard it is. No tells you how even the smallest "reward" can mean soooooooo much. For the last 18 months, we have seen numerous doctors, had hundreds of therapy sessions, and had thousands of challenges. But just hearing him recognize me, hearing him address me.....makes my job so much more rewarding!!!

Now these things apply to my "typically" developing children as well. I can still recall the first time my 5 year old daughter called me momma. That moment will forever be one of my favorite memories. But everything is so much more with my 3 year old son.

It's more work, it's more time outs, it's more consistency, it's more preparedness. But the rewards are sooo much more as well. Having a special needs child can be super challenging. But, the pay-off is just as great.

Now the trick will be him repeating it. Which in all likelihood, won't happen. But that moment is there, the memory will still be just as uplifting and momentous.