I may be reincarnated as an alarm clock

So I have this little problem with being on time.

For as much organizational skills I have, I can not seem to get out of the house on time in the mornings, or the afternoons, or anything in the evening for that matter.

That's not to say I'm not trying. I typically get everything ready the night before. That means clothing laid out, lunches and snacks made and packed the night before. I prep my diaper bag and set it by the door. I lay out my clothing. I get the laundry ready to go in as soon as I wake up.....you'd think I could get somewhere 10 minutes early.

With my son needing to catch the bus, my timing has gotten better. And I will tell you my secret. I got this tip from a "mommy" magazine and it made so much sense I felt like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner. I set a timer.

We all sit down to breakfast at the same time in the mornings. When we do this I check the clock and set the timer for 20 minutes before I need to be out the door. When that timer goes off, breakfast is over. No matter what. Most of the time the kiddos are already done and clearing their dishes, but it ends the "I can really eat another piece of toast, or another egg, or bowl of cereal" debate.

I reset that timer for 10 minutes. Which is 10 minutes before we need to be out the door. I usher those with teeth into the bathroom, where we set a 2 minutes timer to brush teeth. Hair gets brushed and faces tidied.

The timer is usually going off again. This is when we put on shoes and coats and hats. The baby goes in the carseat. My shoes and coat go on.

At this point something usually goes wrong. Someone ALWAYS poops. Or takes off their shoes. Or runs off with my keys. Or my phone rings.

I was doing soooooo well!

By the time I change the stinky culprit, my keys found, and the shoes put back on we are already late.

Boo-hoo. I know, I know, I know. I need to change the timer so I have 15 minutes after the bathroom routine......but trust me. I did this one morning, and we were STILL LATE!!!!!!!!!!! It just gives them more time to poop or take off their shoes.

I guess I need to be more firm on the, "If you take off your shoes you are in big trouble" speech. Or I need to potty train all my kids (yeah, right!) or hide my keys. Wait, if I hide my keys, then we will really be late.

***By the way, I do account for load time into the car. It takes roughly 5 minutes to get 3 children buckled into car seats, baby loaded in, and my bag in the passenger seat.

sigh

And I hate being late. I just don't know what else to do. I have no idea how this goes wrong every single morning.

This is not to say that things have gotten better with the timer. We are more on time then we ever have been. And at least for most things, a few minutes late isn't the end of the world. I am not usually more than 5 minutes late anymore.

But the bus doesn't wait even 3 minutes for anybody.

It was vacation week at preschool last week, so this week we are re-adjusting the system. And some would say duct-taping the shoes to their feet.

But we are actually going to try cartoons in the morning. I am going to build in 10 minutes into my morning so that once they are all ready to go, they earn cartoons until the timer goes off again and we have to walk out the door. What my strategy is that instead of taking shoes off and running away, they will sit and watch a few minutes of cartoons while I'm changing the inevitable messy diaper.

And I'm sure you are all thinking, what if they cry when you turn the TV off? My poor kids are programed to think that when the timer goes off, something else happens, even if they LOVE the current activity. (And my children will always choose "bye-bye" over cartoons.)

I will keep you posted. And I promise that this will be the only TV parenting tip I will ever blog about.