I don't look good in Tie-Dye

I am not sure what it is, but I must give off the "please pick on me" vibe. I think I need to get a tee-shirt made up that says, "SHUT UP IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY TO ME." Well, that's a little long, but I am sick and tired of people criticizing me in public.

I know, I know.  I just need to brush it off. That I shouldn't listen or even care what anyone says to me.

So I'm a little unconventional. I practice a few things that are not "normal" or part of the child rearing standard. But it doesn't make me a bad parent. It doesn't make me any less of a parent then someone else. (In fact, I think it makes me better, but that's just my personal opinion.)
So, I'm at Starbucks. My favorite place. It's always smells good. There's always tolerable music in the background. And there is always coffee. And when you are chasing after 4 little ones, coffee is pretty high up on the "I NEED THAT TO SURVIVE" list.

I'm in line with my little man in my trusty Ergo. (Its a comfortable baby carrier) He is happy, he is smiling, and flirty with everybody who looks at him. I'm ordering my favorite drink (it's a grande peppermint mocha no-whip, for those of you who ever feel compelled to bring me a coffee!) and then patiently waiting for it.

This lady, although she hardly deserves that title, asks me (with that look) "Is that even safe for a baby?"

Me, "The pack? Of course, they are rated to carry up to 40 ish pounds. He only weighs 16 ish."

Rude lady, "No that necklace thing." pointing with disdain at the Baltic Amber necklace around his neck.

Me (taken by surprise), "Oh, that? Yes, they are safe. You just have to mindful they don't chew on it."

Really rude lady, "Hmph."

The lady on the other side of me chimes in, "It's really pretty. What is it?"

Me, "It's a Baltic Amber necklace. They release succinic acid, which has "Tylenol" like properties. So he is wearing it for teething pain."

Nicer, less rude lady, "Oh, well does it work?"
Me, "Sure, I mean, it seems like it helps, if nothing else. When you have a teething baby, you'll try ANYTHING to get them to feel better."

Really, really rude lady, "Sounds like a bunch of voodoo to me."
And then she gets her coffee and stomps out.

And I stand there with my mouth open.

Really?

So amber is a bit unconventional. And I am by no means "hippie" enough NOT to give my child medicine if they are miserable. But Tyelnol can be hard on an infants kidneys and liver when given frequently. And I thought I would give this a shot. (My 2 year old also wears one for his knee pain.)

Now, I'm not saying that all the things we practice as parents, will work for any or every family. We make choices based on what our needs are. I'm pretty sure I make mistakes. I'm pretty sure that I make good choices too.

But I hardly feel that even my more obvious decisions are open for attack.

So the lady at Starbucks probably was having a bad day. I bet she was PMSing or had just been attacked by a group of crazy, marauding trolls. That's the only thing that could explain such rudeness.

The only reason why I happen to be blogging about this is because these types of encounters happen to me at least weekly. People have even gone out of their way to say something to unkind to me and my children.

And I don't understand. I don't get it. And I STILL don't have a good comeback for the rude Starbucks lady, it just left me completely speechless.

So, as a bit of advice, "If you don't have anything nice to say to a lady with 4 kids (who are all BEHAVING) in line at the grocery store, STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM HER BECAUSE ONE DAY SHE WILL GO OFF!!!"

Holy Moly....it's happened!!!!

My non-verbal, high sensory ASD DS is now verbal!!!! At 3.5, it's been a long time coming. And his vocabulary is only about 30ish words. But HE IS TALKING!!!!!

There is nothing more sweet than those few words coming clearly and distinctly out of his mouth. I love hearing his voice. I love hearing him communicate. I love that we have made it this far!

One of our long term "IEP" goals for him is to go to regular/typical kindergarten. I love the special needs program in our school district. I love the Autism program in our district too. But he would thrive and do very well in a standard classroom, leaving those few precious spots for a child who needs it more. But the teachers and specialists say he has to talk to be in a typical classroom.

It's going to happen! His teacher talked to me today about our goals. We have this year and next year of preschool to get through first, but it's going to happen.

When I look back at the last year with him, I am reminded of so many challenges. I remember all those days when he would cry and cry and cry with frustration and I would cry because I couldn't help him.

I remember just praying for him to talk. Even 2 words! I remember dragging him to speech therapy week after week after week, and not getting a single sound.

The pediatric development specialist said speech may come, but there was no guarantee. He was sure that my special little boy just wasn't ready to talk yet.

So, he has made some major accomplishments. He managed to bridge some gap in his brain. He has figured out what communication is for and how it works. And we  are so happy! He is so happy!

He said during nap (I could hear him through the baby monitor), "MOMMMMMMY!!!!! Brody up!!! Brody up!! Brody eat! Brody eat, Mommy!"

Not huge big sentences. But words. Words that have a purpose and make sense. Words that have meaning.

And he called me "mommy".

Boys will be Boys

I have 3 amazing, sweet, loving, adorable little boys. I have 1 amazing, sweet, loving, adorable little girl. There is definitely an unfair advantage in our home.

But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my special "girl time" with my daughter. We love shopping together, getting pedicures, and just having time without her brothers.

And I love my little boys. They are still young, so we don't go out and have adventures much. But building train tracks and playing blocks are sweet wonderful moments. I wouldn't trade a single one of them in for another girl.

In fact, I wouldn't want my family any other way. (Well, except maybe we need a dog.....one day.) But we are a perfect little (okay not so little) family of 6. And yes, the girls are outnumbered by the boys, but hey that's the way it works!

The point? I was having a nice little chat with a mommy at therapy the other day. We were waiting with our kiddos for our therapists. We discussed the usual. Why we were there, who our therapist was, and bits of our family life.

She was the mother of 3 little girls. I say, "I have 3 little boys! How funny!" Her response, "Oh, that's too bad you didn't get a girl."

Hmm. Where was this going? "I have a daughter too, she is my oldest. Then it's, boy, boy, and boy!"

"Well, at least you got one girl." Then she stands up and heads into therapy.

Well.

I had no idea that girls were better than boys. I didn't realize that by having a girl I had an advantage. I was slightly dumbfounded that my boys didn't rank the same as my daughter.

And do you know what? (And I'm sure you don't really care) but, this is not the first time I have been in this conversation.

Since my daughter is in preschool, it's usually just me and the boys doing errands. The lady at the post office seemed to feel genuinely sorry for me that I had 3 boys and no girls. (Sometimes I omit the fact that I do have a daughter....just to see how the conversation goes.)

It blows my mind that people actually feel sorry for me. Really sorry. Like girls are all sorts of wonderful and better than boys.

Hmmm.

Let's evaluate.

Girls: toys, diapers, clothing..... Boys: toys, diapers, clothing.....
Don't really see much difference there. Yeah, the colors are different, but what is it exactly that makes girls better?

Sweet and cute little dresses? Nope, total pain in the ass with tights and playground manners, and they are totally impractical 9 months of the year.

Hairbows and ponytails? Nope, they lose them ALL THE TIME!

Pretty pink diapers? Nope, my boys have super adorable diapers too. (And remember we do cloth)

Barbies? Okay, you have me there. I would never tell my boys they can't play with Barbies, but I'm pretty sure I would never purchase one for them. And I love Barbie.

Now if we were to have another baby (and please, God, do NOT give us another baby) I would hope it would be a girl. But, not for myself. But my daughter. I would love for her to have sister bond. I think that would be a special gift. But since she doesn't (and won't) ever have a sister, I don't think she will grow up to be any less of a person. I don't have a sister bond and I think I'm doing okay.

She has 3 cute, crazy, crabby, and creative brothers. She has plenty of sibling love. She is an awesome sister to them. She loves them. She plays with them. She lets them play with her toys (and yes even my beloved Barbie).

So why is it that when I was pregnant with baby #4 (who is a boy!) people would ask, "Is it a girl?" and my response was always, "Nope! Another sweet baby boy!" And they would actually say, "Awe too bad for you." And I actually had a family member say this to me.

So apparently there was some memo I missed about girls being better than boys. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm pretty happy with my 3 boys. If you have an issue with the gender of my children, you should take it up with my DH, he is the reason I have 3 darling boys.